© Copyright 1991, 1999 Blake Harris. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Chapter Seven
The Art of Great Dialogue
Robert Towne (Chinatown, Tequila Sunrise,
etc.) is well known for the masterful dialogue in his
films.
"[One] thing I learned from the first part of
my career, when engaged on several rewrites, is that
dialogue should never spell out to an audience what a
scene is about," he once said.
"There's a perfect example of this in a
sequence I wrote between Marlon Brando, as the old
mafia boss, and Al Pacino, his son, in The Godfather
(1972). Francis Coppola basically wanted a scene where
the two men would say that they loved each other,
because there was nothing like that in the book. It
sounds simple; but you cannot write a love scene by
just having two people say they love each other.
"I looked at the footage that had been filmed
and talked to Marlon and Al; eventually I wrote the
scene so that it was ostensibly about the succession of
power, about youth taking over and the reluctance of
the old man to give way. The older man is telling his
son to be careful in the future and mentions some of
the people who might pose a threat, while the son
reassures him with a touch of impatience--`I can handle
it.' And you can tell the father's obsessive concern
for these details reflects his anxiety that his son is
having to adopt a role that the old man never wanted
him to have, as well as the father's reluctance to give
up his power. Underlying all of this is the feeling
that they care for each other."
William Goldman called it subtext. It is not
what is stated in words, but the pulse beating beneath
those words. It is the unexpressed subconscious life
that brings size and weight to your writing.
If you depend on the dialogue to tell the
audience what is really going on in a scene, it will
lack punch.
It is the rule "show it, don't tell it" once
again.
Making dialogue show rather than tell is one
of the toughest tasks a screenwriter faces.
"Look at what you've written," Goldman
advises. "If all that's going on in your scenes is
what's going on in your scenes, think about it a long
time."
However, subtext must also be very clear. It
isn't some mysterious quality. It is working out what
you want to audience to get and understand from the
scene. And then writing it so this is what they get
without you having to spell it out in "he saids" and
"she saids."
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In THE BLUE DAHLIA, Raymond Chandler (who
wrote the screenplay) combined a distinct style and
excellent use of subtext.
In one scene the
hero, Johnny, who was
hitchhiking, has been picked up in a car by Joyce. It
is the first time they have met. Neither knows who the
other is in connection with the plot that has
previously developed.
EXT. JOYCE'S CAR
Joyce is getting out. She starts toward The Inn.
JOHNNY'S VOICE
(From the car)
Wait a minute.
Joyce stops. Johnny slides past the wheel and gets
out, then reaches back and takes out his suitcase.
JOYCE
Why are you
doing that?
JOHNNY
This is the
end of the line.
JOYCE
Is it?
JOHNNY
It has to be.
It's a long way
back to Malibu.
JOYCE
All it takes
is time.
(pause)
What about you?
JOHNNY
I saw a motel
sign up ahead.
JOYCE
And tomorrow?
JOHNNY
I'll get a bus--to
somewhere.
He lifts his suitcase off the running board of the car.
Joyce watches him silently.
JOYCE
Just anywhere?
JOHNNY
As long as it's
not back.
Joyce is silent.
JOHNNY
This is where
I ought to say
thank you--if
I knew how.
JOYCE
I didn't do
it for thanks.
JOHNNY
I guess I know
that.
He looks at her a long moment, then turns away. Joyce
lets him take two or three steps.
JOYCE
Don't you even
say good night?
Johnny turns.
JOHNNY
It's goodbye.
(pause)
I don't like
to say goodbye.
JOYCE
You don't have
to.
Johnny doesn't answer. He just looks at her.
JOYCE
It's been nice
knowing me,
hasn't it--and
now it's over.
It's just as
though you'd never
seen me.
JOHNNY
Every guy's
seen you before--
somewhere.
The trick is to find
you.
Revealing Character
Through Dialogue
As well as forwarding the plot, dialogue
should reveal character. This is usually best
accomplished in some sort of confrontation. A few
select words can reveal a great deal about characters
and their relationship. Take for instance, this brief
scene from Robert Bolt's Doctor Zhivago:
EXT. MOSCOW STREET -- WINTER -- SNOW
The candle glows in Pasha's window. A sleigh is
passing below; Yuri and Tonya are in it. Both look
abstracted.
TONYA
(Softly,
poignantly)
Yuri.
(He turns)
Where have you
seen that girl
before?
YURI
(Smiling, but
sympathetic, at
her jealousy)
What makes you
think I've seen
her before?
TONYA
(Looks at him)
Haven't you?
YURI
Yes.
TONYA
Where?
YURI
I'm not supposed
to say. It was
on a case.
Not very nice. Her
mother...
TONYA
No, don't tell
me; if you're not
supposed to
say...
Yuri takes her sad and gentle profile, turns it gently
toward himself. He kisses her. After a moment she
responds urgently.
[(c) Copyright 1965 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Inc., New
York, New York]
In a few words and a confrontation, the
nature of their relationship is established. In
addition, we learn of Yuri's sense of duty. The scene
foreshadows what is to be Tonya's reaction to Yuri's
affair with Lara. And we mechanically have one of the
dynamic forces driving the script in full play in the
background--barriers and timing keeping Yuri and Lara
apart.
All this with 45 spoken words. Clarity is
not sacrificed--and never should be--and the exchange
seems completely natural. We do not learn anything we
do not need to know to understand the story and we are
not learning what we have already learned before. It
plays brilliantly.
When it comes to dialogue:
Do not use ten words where two will suffice.
Do not use two words if ten are required for
absolute clarity.
Do not use any dialogue that does not forward the
plot or reveal what we must know about the
characters.
Show it, don't simply tell it.